I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
