i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
