Don't EVER smell your tampon
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
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There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize