I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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