Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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