Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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