i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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