i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
