I accidentally had phone sex last night
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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