Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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