So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
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Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
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They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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