If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize
