At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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