I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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