Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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