How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
