So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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