was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
