I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
