Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
