brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
