My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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