I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
