Whod you bang
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
