he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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