i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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