yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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