We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
