yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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