I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize