Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize