I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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