I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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