You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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