matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
