yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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