I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
