Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm jealous of your bromance
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
