i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
