i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
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But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
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This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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