How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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