So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
