Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
