There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
3pm strippers are depressing
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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