I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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