Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
