My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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