I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize