Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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