he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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