If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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