Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
