It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
