I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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