if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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