My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
