Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
