and she was petting her beer can
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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