You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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