Nicole vs. Life
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
