i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
