I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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