My balls are so social today.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize