I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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