D3 body, D1 cock
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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