idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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